Elaborate Uses for the Wii U

Originally written for 7Bit Arcade, the original has since been taken down, this one has been edited to make it read better and stuff.

In all the excitement of the last few months in gaming, it’s been hard to remember that 2012 could see the release of a brand new console, ushering the next generation of games for us all to get excited over. The Wii U is Nintendo’s first step into the HD graphics world, following on from the immensely popular Wii, the controller is once again one of the most fascinating aspects…

Let’s be blunt. You don’t care about all the ordinary stuff about the Wii U. We don’t blame you. As interesting as what the Wii U is promising to do, think of the potential of what it isn’t promising to do. Today, we have a look at some of the completely sane and not at all bizarre plans we have for our Wii U.

Self-Esteem Booster

Modern life – as the Blur album reassures us – is rubbish. With that niggling thought in the back of your mind, it’s hard not to feel a bit bad about everything more often than not. Self-esteem is in short supply in the 21st century, but the Wii U may just have the capability to change all that.

With it’s in built-in forward facing camera; let’s assume that the Wii U will be able to take photos of the person using the controller. Now, although no software has been announced, we’d also hope that the system would have image editing tools, like it currently does for the DSi. Add these two together and come the launch day, I’ll be tweaking the way I look through the Wii U’s controller so I resemble a regular lothario instead of a bum-fluffed student.

Outside of my body issues though, the controller can also boost your self-esteem at gaming as well. Look at it, there are enough ways of controlling it that being bad at the games on the console can just be blamed on the controller instead of your own skill level. It’s not your fault you lost the game, it’s Nintendo’s for developing such an unwieldy beast. I have been waiting for this excuse all my life!

Artist trainer

If there’s one talent it’s hard not to be envious of, it is artistry. Some people are able to produce incredible drawings that can inspire; others can use their talents to produce fully formed worlds that words could never do justice to. What has this got to do with the Wii U? Well, if you’re lacking in these talents, then the Wii U’s inbuilt screen might just help you train.

Who doesn’t remember getting the tracing paper back at school, having to draw over pictures and then transferring them to your own piece of paper to colour in? What… just me? Oh. Anyway, using the primary school principal of tracing, you could grab your Wii U controller and start to trace the intricate dungeons of the latest Zelda game. It’ll give your drawing hand some practice! For drawing and stuff…

Then once you’ve successfully traced a scene, re-trace onto your piece of paper and add in some colours. Why not take the earthy brown look of those Zelda dungeons you’ve scribbled and give them a neon pink hue? Then, once you’ve finished, hang your masterpiece up. If anyone brings up that decrepit argument about videogames and art, point them to your work and end that conversation quickly!

Really expansive tray

Laziness may not be a desirable trait for some, but for those of us who find the call of the bed just a little too tempting, then you’ll know how vital a tray can be. Whether it’s for food, protecting your lap from your laptop or just having something to put various items of worth on, trays really are an important part of our lives. So it surely can’t be a coincidence that the Wii U controller looks a little like an interactive tray to my eyes.

So why use a plain old wooden/plastic tray? Sure, it may be cheap and sturdy, but when the Wii U rolls around, these sensible options will be set aside. For example, putting a meal on a Wii U controller means that you’ll not only have the actual game to play, but you’ll be able to have fun eating the bits of food that get in the way of proper gaming. That’s what we in the industry call a “win-win” situation. Now, we wouldn’t advise whacking a laptop onto your controller, but as a breakfast in bed tray, it could well be the difference between a nice meal and an amazing one.

21st Century magazine in the book trick

Years of reading ‘The Beano’ taught me that when you need a quick way of getting out of work, just slip a magazine into whatever you reading and you’re sorted. It looks as if you’re doing work, without actually doing work.  But, the times have changed and the Wii U could be the biggest revolution in the things to hide in books department since the magazine burst onto the scene.

Compared to the iPad – another possible contender for hiding in a book to inconspicuously use – the Wii U controller has pretty much the same features but with one advantage. If, as hinted, the controller doubles up as a second screen, you would be able to play games while pretending to be a learned gentleman. Imagine Arkham City tucked in a copy of National Geographic. Or maybe even forgo Batman’s thrills and mix it up with a little Mario.

Are you planning anything special for the Wii U? Or do you think that wasting time thinking about this instead of all the great games we’re going to be getting for it is a bit silly? Let us know in the comments!


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